Feeling a little unwell I left behind a lesson plan at work for my students concerning my all time favorite Neil Gaiman tale " How to Talk to Girls at Parties" it's about a shy teenage boy whose clueless to the fact his talking to alien girls at a party. Theres nothing more harmful in this story then some KISSING. My students however complained to my supervisor saying the story made them uncomfortable because it was about...a gay teenager.
First of all no the teenager was not gay, just shy.
Secondly I was shocked by their ignorance that they associate "shyness" with being homosexual and that apparently being gay is a bad thing.
One of the things I've noticed in this society which my students made obvious is that unless you're sexually aggressive their must be something wrong with you and you must be ZOMG GAY. I remember despite my deep and unrequited love for Spike from Buffy I was accused several times of being a lesbian by my fellow students because I had no interest in random sex with some guy who used the word " fucking" as a prime adjective. I didn't like boys my own age, like my descendents who have fallen for Edward Cullen I wanted an intellectuel bad ass with super powers ( Ive since grown out of that, now it's all about Neil Patrick Harris).
This didn't make me gay.
I found it interesting that my students were also horrified by the sheer CONCEPT of a gay character despite the fact at least once person they know during their life time will be gay. In my case every boyfriend or guy I've ever had a crush on ended up gay ( yep I sure know how to pick them) but the point is GET OVER IT.
PEOPLE ARE GAY.
IT'S THEIR CHOICE AND THEIR IS NOTHING WRONG WITH IT.
I'd rather be in a loving lesbian relationship like Willow and Tara ( if I was actually attracted to women) then an abusive relationship like Spike and Buffy.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Do you have faith in god above?
I find that Rufus said it best in Dogma " It's more important to have ideas then belief" when it comes to organised religion.
One of the things I've noticed especially in nerd world is you can fall into two categories, you either believe in a religion or your a hardcore athiest who believes the world is pointless.
There is no middle ground! I've always believed as Georgia Lass said in Dead Like Me that I have to trust that the universe will take care of me and that everything will happen for a reason. My perception of god isn't a religious idea which is either a old man, a blue man, a fat man or in one case a woman with flowers in her hair.
I believe that god is the force that makes the universe well alive, that god is in everything and connects everything and that it will make sure everything happens for a reason.
Life isn't fair, but think about it this way if life really WERE fair then wouldn't it be horrible knowing that bad things happen to us because we deserve them?
We may think that something is terrible right now but we have to trust its for the best in the future.
For example my breakup at the beginning of the month, at first I was devestated but then I realised it had to happen.
The universe knew that I didn't want all my options such as marrige/kids/pets taken away from me so it knew I had to be set free.
Sometimes when we get sick or when someone dies it's hard to see it this way but the only reason why life has value is because we know like River Song said on Doctor Who that everything dies.
But as it's shown on Doctor Who death is not "the end" rather just an evolution to a new stage of existance (such as Astrid turning into stardust or River Song turning into a computer file).
One of the things I've noticed especially in nerd world is you can fall into two categories, you either believe in a religion or your a hardcore athiest who believes the world is pointless.
There is no middle ground! I've always believed as Georgia Lass said in Dead Like Me that I have to trust that the universe will take care of me and that everything will happen for a reason. My perception of god isn't a religious idea which is either a old man, a blue man, a fat man or in one case a woman with flowers in her hair.
I believe that god is the force that makes the universe well alive, that god is in everything and connects everything and that it will make sure everything happens for a reason.
Life isn't fair, but think about it this way if life really WERE fair then wouldn't it be horrible knowing that bad things happen to us because we deserve them?
We may think that something is terrible right now but we have to trust its for the best in the future.
For example my breakup at the beginning of the month, at first I was devestated but then I realised it had to happen.
The universe knew that I didn't want all my options such as marrige/kids/pets taken away from me so it knew I had to be set free.
Sometimes when we get sick or when someone dies it's hard to see it this way but the only reason why life has value is because we know like River Song said on Doctor Who that everything dies.
But as it's shown on Doctor Who death is not "the end" rather just an evolution to a new stage of existance (such as Astrid turning into stardust or River Song turning into a computer file).
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Psychic vampires
Far more terrifying then Edward Cullen of William the Bloody ( which isn't that hard all things considering) is the dreaded, evil nice vampire.
So what exactly is a nice vampire? chances are you have encountered them in your life especially if you are a 'good'person. A nice vampire instead of sucking blood drains its prey of its politeness, kindness and compassion until there is nothing left at all. You know the sort of person who blogs and twitters constantly about their desire to kill themselves over a lost eye liner pencil and expects everyone to comment sympathetically and yet will never comment you the rare time you've announced that you broke your spinal chord at your grandparents funeral.
The sort of person who always wants to talk to you online about how their relationship problems and yet never has time to listen to you when you've lost your job.
The sort of person who arranges elaborate social gatherings and is insulted if you cant go yet flat out refuses to ever attend your birthday party.
As Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life once said a relationship is about "give and take" and nice vampires tend to take far more then they give.
They're the sort of boyfriend who will spend hours waxing on about how dark and poetic they are and yet they tell you to "just get over it" when you ring up crying because somebody sexually assaulted you on the train.
They're the sort of friend who spends all their time constantly picking on a new person to be their ultimate BFF only to discard them once they've drained that said friend of all their kindness.
Nice vampires are incredibly dangerous and hard to spot but here are the normal signs.
1: Do they force you to listen to their problems constantly and yet dismiss you when you have something to say?
2: Do they only ever talk to you when somethings wrong never actually inviting you to their fun parties and social events?
3: Are they always borrowing your things and then never returning them?
4: Do they make you want to scream and pull your hair out?
Chances are they are a nice vampire.
The only escape from a nice vampire is too delete them off your facebook.
So what exactly is a nice vampire? chances are you have encountered them in your life especially if you are a 'good'person. A nice vampire instead of sucking blood drains its prey of its politeness, kindness and compassion until there is nothing left at all. You know the sort of person who blogs and twitters constantly about their desire to kill themselves over a lost eye liner pencil and expects everyone to comment sympathetically and yet will never comment you the rare time you've announced that you broke your spinal chord at your grandparents funeral.
The sort of person who always wants to talk to you online about how their relationship problems and yet never has time to listen to you when you've lost your job.
The sort of person who arranges elaborate social gatherings and is insulted if you cant go yet flat out refuses to ever attend your birthday party.
As Rocko from Rocko's Modern Life once said a relationship is about "give and take" and nice vampires tend to take far more then they give.
They're the sort of boyfriend who will spend hours waxing on about how dark and poetic they are and yet they tell you to "just get over it" when you ring up crying because somebody sexually assaulted you on the train.
They're the sort of friend who spends all their time constantly picking on a new person to be their ultimate BFF only to discard them once they've drained that said friend of all their kindness.
Nice vampires are incredibly dangerous and hard to spot but here are the normal signs.
1: Do they force you to listen to their problems constantly and yet dismiss you when you have something to say?
2: Do they only ever talk to you when somethings wrong never actually inviting you to their fun parties and social events?
3: Are they always borrowing your things and then never returning them?
4: Do they make you want to scream and pull your hair out?
Chances are they are a nice vampire.
The only escape from a nice vampire is too delete them off your facebook.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Saying farewell to communication.
On Sunday night while cruising around on face book (you know discovering whose pregnant, whose gotten fat, that sort of thing) I saw that some photographs of my ex “great love” ( Doctor Evil finger gestures here guyds) boyfriend had been tagged. It had been well almost a year since the last time I actually clicked on his page because his usual persistent status updates showed up fulfilling me on everything I could ever need to know about his job/girlfriend/family. I clicked on his page to look at the new photos and saw that his last status update had been months ago and was a rather dramatic bleak statement, all other interactions had ceased online. The photos had been uploaded by someone else. Needless to say I was shocked, was this guy lying in a pool of his own vomit in the inner city? Was he off on a retreat to discover himself in Thailand? Who knows?
First some background information, I’ve started recovering from the worst year of my life. You know all the crap Spiderman went through in the three movies? Worse then that, much worse.
· Auto Immune Hepatitis/Diabetes incapacitating me for six months.
· A brother who was violently kicking the crap out of me while I was ill.
· A relationship with a Nilhist ( now there’s nothing wrong with being a Nilhist but as Annie Hall showed us optimists and pessimists don’t mix well together)
· A broken leg.
My brother attempting to kill me.
While experiencing all of this I was deeply depressed and more then anything I wanted someone, ANYONE to notice and perhaps ring me up or come over for a visit. Instead most of my friends abandoned me only starting to speak to me again as I began to recover. I knew what it was like to feel hopeless, to see nothing in the future accept for a dementors kiss. This status update and the abandonment of the inter-web spoke to me. Something was wrong.
Back round info part two : The last time a friend fell of the radar on the internet it turned out she was suffering deep depression and her boyfriend was physically assaulting her. The home phone number I had for her was incorrect and when she finally came back online I felt terrible for not being there for her. I felt horrible not knowing this was going on so determined whenever I read anything that sounds suspicious I contact that friend no matter who they are in order to make sure their ok. I sent the guy a quick are you ok? Message, five days later and no word. So finally wracked with guilt I called him. First of all he wasn’t sure who I was, and then when he recognized me he called me “babes”. When I asked him why he posted a status update like that only to disappear for two months he was like “OMG THAT WAS ONLY FOR LIKE ONE DAY I’M FINE”.
This has inspired me to write the following MySpace/msn/blog status etiquette guide. First of all and this may shock you all out there I am not the only person in the world who cares about people. THERE ARE MORE OF US THEN YOU THINK. Everyone needs to make a melodramatic “hates the world” status update once in awhile but the thing is everyone can read what you are saying so following these rules.
1: When creating a status please remember people can read it, respond to concerned comments people LEAVE you.
2: If you’re not in the mood to respond to these comments because you’re still mad at your cat/boss/boyfriend/girlfriend/Elvis then at least give some sign within forty eight hours that you are alive.
3: If someone sends you an email sometime after you went AWOL concerned about you. ANSWER IT. IT’S NOT THAT HARD. It will take thirty seconds of your life to type “ I am fine, a dog is eating my face but I am awesome”.
I’m not the first person who has had to deal with this years ago in a Harry Potter online community a girl posted a suicide note which lead to hours of desperate ISP searching and cross checking blog information so the moderators could call the police and find out if she died. She was ok. In a more heart breaking case another girl fell of the radar and through the similar detective work the community discovered she was in a serious car accident.
We may be geeks but we do notice when our friends disappear online and it’s even scarier when it happens after something suspicious. Its fine saying farewell to the internet but when you do please do us a favor and let the people who care about you knows that you’re ok.
First some background information, I’ve started recovering from the worst year of my life. You know all the crap Spiderman went through in the three movies? Worse then that, much worse.
· Auto Immune Hepatitis/Diabetes incapacitating me for six months.
· A brother who was violently kicking the crap out of me while I was ill.
· A relationship with a Nilhist ( now there’s nothing wrong with being a Nilhist but as Annie Hall showed us optimists and pessimists don’t mix well together)
· A broken leg.
My brother attempting to kill me.
While experiencing all of this I was deeply depressed and more then anything I wanted someone, ANYONE to notice and perhaps ring me up or come over for a visit. Instead most of my friends abandoned me only starting to speak to me again as I began to recover. I knew what it was like to feel hopeless, to see nothing in the future accept for a dementors kiss. This status update and the abandonment of the inter-web spoke to me. Something was wrong.
Back round info part two : The last time a friend fell of the radar on the internet it turned out she was suffering deep depression and her boyfriend was physically assaulting her. The home phone number I had for her was incorrect and when she finally came back online I felt terrible for not being there for her. I felt horrible not knowing this was going on so determined whenever I read anything that sounds suspicious I contact that friend no matter who they are in order to make sure their ok. I sent the guy a quick are you ok? Message, five days later and no word. So finally wracked with guilt I called him. First of all he wasn’t sure who I was, and then when he recognized me he called me “babes”. When I asked him why he posted a status update like that only to disappear for two months he was like “OMG THAT WAS ONLY FOR LIKE ONE DAY I’M FINE”.
This has inspired me to write the following MySpace/msn/blog status etiquette guide. First of all and this may shock you all out there I am not the only person in the world who cares about people. THERE ARE MORE OF US THEN YOU THINK. Everyone needs to make a melodramatic “hates the world” status update once in awhile but the thing is everyone can read what you are saying so following these rules.
1: When creating a status please remember people can read it, respond to concerned comments people LEAVE you.
2: If you’re not in the mood to respond to these comments because you’re still mad at your cat/boss/boyfriend/girlfriend/Elvis then at least give some sign within forty eight hours that you are alive.
3: If someone sends you an email sometime after you went AWOL concerned about you. ANSWER IT. IT’S NOT THAT HARD. It will take thirty seconds of your life to type “ I am fine, a dog is eating my face but I am awesome”.
I’m not the first person who has had to deal with this years ago in a Harry Potter online community a girl posted a suicide note which lead to hours of desperate ISP searching and cross checking blog information so the moderators could call the police and find out if she died. She was ok. In a more heart breaking case another girl fell of the radar and through the similar detective work the community discovered she was in a serious car accident.
We may be geeks but we do notice when our friends disappear online and it’s even scarier when it happens after something suspicious. Its fine saying farewell to the internet but when you do please do us a favor and let the people who care about you knows that you’re ok.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
My first post, huzzah ten pounds for the king!
I've created this blog in order to indulge in my secret dark confession. I am a girl nerd. While other girls are out drinking on friday nights I'm either reading Neil Gaiman or watching my Buffy dvds. When I go shopping not only do I buy cute clothes I also buy graphic novels and dvd box sets. Needless to say I find living in the real world a little bit dull and also very difficult to deal with.
In many ways I'm pre-lesbian wiccan witch Willow, still into guys, still into writing obscure fanfic.
In fact today I would love to talk about girl-nerd Willow and how she lost her way. Whatever happened to the girl-nerd Willow who found academic achievements exciting was able to examine corpses and had a stoic werewolf for a boyfriend? It was awesome when she began working her magical mojo until suddenly magical mojo was all she ever was.
Rewatching season six of Buffy I couldn't help but feel dissapointed, in many ways Willow's computer hacking book reading abilities which made her who she was were taken away and replaced with the magic.
Yeah I get it, its a metaphor for drug addiction but really? honestly? I just think Joss got sick of writing a nerdy girl.
We can see in Willow's dreams that her number one fear is returning to the girl who did her book report on The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe.
This is a shame because as a Highschool English teacher I really wish there were more girls choosing diverse literature for their essays instead of Twilight.
When Willow overcomes her addiction does the nerd Willow come back? no not really. Season eight showed little to no evidence of her love for reading and the internet ( she used the internet once to look up a dead girls blog before commenting it was a teenage phase) and instead still stuck with her magical self.
The comics show goddess Willow flying around with the greatest of ease in various stages of medieval dress.
Once again though I have to think to myself this isn't the Willow I identified with as a kid. After all the episode "Helpless" clearly illustrated that a persons identity isn't carved based on their super powers however in the comic virtual series eight we see Willow identifying with some one else. Of course I could be wrong because I have still to buy half the series and I hear Oz is coming back.
Oh well.
In many ways I'm pre-lesbian wiccan witch Willow, still into guys, still into writing obscure fanfic.
In fact today I would love to talk about girl-nerd Willow and how she lost her way. Whatever happened to the girl-nerd Willow who found academic achievements exciting was able to examine corpses and had a stoic werewolf for a boyfriend? It was awesome when she began working her magical mojo until suddenly magical mojo was all she ever was.
Rewatching season six of Buffy I couldn't help but feel dissapointed, in many ways Willow's computer hacking book reading abilities which made her who she was were taken away and replaced with the magic.
Yeah I get it, its a metaphor for drug addiction but really? honestly? I just think Joss got sick of writing a nerdy girl.
We can see in Willow's dreams that her number one fear is returning to the girl who did her book report on The Lion The Witch and the Wardrobe.
This is a shame because as a Highschool English teacher I really wish there were more girls choosing diverse literature for their essays instead of Twilight.
When Willow overcomes her addiction does the nerd Willow come back? no not really. Season eight showed little to no evidence of her love for reading and the internet ( she used the internet once to look up a dead girls blog before commenting it was a teenage phase) and instead still stuck with her magical self.
The comics show goddess Willow flying around with the greatest of ease in various stages of medieval dress.
Once again though I have to think to myself this isn't the Willow I identified with as a kid. After all the episode "Helpless" clearly illustrated that a persons identity isn't carved based on their super powers however in the comic virtual series eight we see Willow identifying with some one else. Of course I could be wrong because I have still to buy half the series and I hear Oz is coming back.
Oh well.
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